Well, things are looking up. :) I have had a great week! I have been making myself do things that i knew i didn't want to do... Just becuase i knew i needed to do them. God is so good to me. He has been opening my eyes to so many of my failures... so many places where i fall short. He has made me realize that i am just like a pharasee that Jesus talked about so often in the Bible. I bless Christ/God with the same lips that i curse the people around me. We were talking in class last night at church about what we did for the 'day of outreach' that Harding had. I, of course, didn't do anything. I had a blast that night..but when we got home, Amber and i were talking that night, about our days like we always do... And she mentioned something that struck me. She said she was angry because at church that night... We would tell what we did to serve the community, then we would make fun of the people we served. I mean, it wasn't a MEAN make fun...it was just joking...and not even joking about someone in particular... See, my mind is playing games iwth me again...trying to convince myself that it's ok. But it's not ok. (If anyone doens't understand this...i dont blame you. It's pretty confusing. I mean, i'mt he person writing this and i dont even understand some of it.) ANYWAY, my point that i'm trying so unsuccessfully to get to is this: I make 'fun' of people. Yes, my intent is not to be mean... but my 'making fun' of them is certainly not glorifying God. I am also sacreligious. I make 'jokes' about like the 'manna from heaven', or i will randomly shout "Who saves us from our sin???!!! JESUS!!" like a black man. I beleive my heart isn't in the right place. I want to glorify myself instead of glorifying the one who created me. I should probably talk more with HIm about this, should'nt i?, instead of boring you all.

No binges,

No purges,

since Saturday.

And it feels good. Soon, my system will get cleaned out.

Oh yeah- and i was voted the most 'unorthodox' person in the class. They said it was a good thing. I wasn't really paying attention...or else i would have found out what unorthodox meant. I know now... But anyway. I'm tempted now to become selfish in my thinking...to become conceited. I will not let that happen.

Oh, a question. If anyone knows the answer, you can leave me a note. Who kills the sin in me...myself or God? Specific sins anyway? Or do we work together...God giving me the power to?

Just a little something tot hink about.

I sat on my mom and when i got up,