I talked about my deal with my friends....how i am not comfortable being friends with the 'popular' crowd...and what we figured out is that its safe for me to be friends with those who are on 'lower' social classes than i am. I know that i am 'cool' enough to be friends with the popular people....if i only let myself. I'm not at all scared of being rejected. Becuase if i am rejected, i mean, who cares?? They're not worth my time then anyway. I'm scared that i will be ACCEPTED. I am not sure why yet... I also figured out that i think too much. I intellectualize my feelings.....and i think them away. I think 'why do i feel this way', and, in that sense, i ignore the feelings i'm feeling.

My birthday was good. My friends trapsed into my English class and SANG to me. It was embarassing, but also the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Well, one of the nicest things. It really made me feel worthwhile. My house all went to IHOP... It was a blast!!! Except the food was alot...it just seemed like too much becuase i drank a freaking 5 cups of coffee before the meal. Ha! Decaf, of course. Thats the only thing i feel safe with. If it wasn't decaf, i would ahve been bouncing off the walls. I haven't had caffiene in SUCH a long time!! Ever since the Starbucks thing... i guess that wasn't too long ago, but hey. My parents are coming...and we're going to go out to Starbucks either Friday or Saturday...and then IHOP. Woo! I love that place! I'm just excited becuase i dont have to pay for my meals. :) They're also bringing me birthday presents...i wonder what they will be.... hhhmmm... Perhaps, a car? A computer? I doubt it...probably a book or something. :) Oh well! Material possessions are worthless.

After IHOP, we went to United so i could show Jarred (the jerkface) to my housemates. I talked to him.... it was awkward, but i'm starting not to care anymore. My friends said he was cute...... but his nose turned them off. haha! He does have a stinking big nose. But he can't help that. Even if he didn't have a big nose, he would still be repulsive to me...becuase his personality SUCKS. Annie and i ran down an aisle and knocked stuff off of the shelves. Then we laughed.... actually, it was mainly me laughing...as we walked around the store. It was so much fun! I haven't done somethign stupid and juvenile like that in a LONG time. Next time...i think we should throw stuff over the aisles.... And try to hit old ladies. Oh my gosh, i can't beleive i'm 18 and i'm still doing stuff like this. I want to be a child all my life! It's ok for me to be immature... i'm 'nurturing my inner child'. I never got a chance to be a child, so now i'm making up for it.