I realized that the peace i have been searching inside of myself for...really isnt' there. I've spent so much time these past few days feeling sorry for myself, angry and uncontent... I've been waiting for my feelings to pass so i can find the peace that i've been searching my whole life for.

But...

Inside of myself...

There is nothing.

Certainly not peace.

THe peace i desperately desire is found outside of myself.

I'm weak, i'm dirty, i'm powerless over food and over cutting and over shoplifting and all that.

But my God knows my weakness. He loves me anyway. I am CLEAN in His eyes. He takes me in His arms, whispers lovingly that He understands my weakness... And continues to love me day after day. Even when i make mistakes...even when i make decisions to slowly kill myself by binging and purging and cutting. Even when i was doing those things...my God was looking down on me and crying becuase of how much love He has for me. I have nothing to be ashamed of anymore...becuase my God accepts me becuase of who i am. He accepts me and He loves me unconditionally.

Today-

My life sucks.

But God is good.