The CAST!

Lots of people have things they call 'casts' on their diaries... and, well, i usually neglect to talk about anyone in my diary entries besides myself. I am going to just list a bunch of people i consider my friends at the moment, becuase i'm lonely and i want to remember that i acutally have friends. It's so easy to forget.

Mitchell- The love of my life. Er, one of them. He's beautiful, i miss his touch and his humor. This boy now lives in Africa, we are planning on going to college together. I want to marry him. I travelled half way across the country to spend a night with him.

Francis- Another love of my life. Oh boy, there's two. No matter--- He's Canadian, hilarious, and hairy. I dont want to sleep with him, i just want to marry him. He was my best friend and he can make me laugh like nobody else can. On the last day we were together i gave him a chili pepper lights set and we walked down the sidewalk and flipped people off. We then took pictures of their reactions. Woo!

My father- Tall farmer with a belly. He wears plaid, Dickies, and has bad feet. I gave him a pedicure once. He's socially awkward and loves to laugh at inopportune times. When he gets angry, he loves use words like 'persnicketey'.

My mother- Shrinking woman with big breasts. She doesn't smile in public often. She doens't open up to people and she has nothing but casual friends. She expects me to be the same... i can't.

Megs- My hilarious anorexic friend. Her laugh makes me laugh. She laughs alot. I love her laugh! She has taught me so much about myself and life. I think she might read this, so thanks, Megs, for sharing your heart with me.

Amber- My 21 year old sister who lives in Arkansas. We are going to live together next year. She is the epitomy of perfection, although she claims not to be. Oh thou art humble!

Lori- My giddy friend who loves me and God. She is hilarious and has so much energy and a great desire to be perfect.

Stef- My best friend. Her beauty makes me want to strive to be a friend like her. She opens my eyes and holds me still when my dreams are shaking.

Matt- The most hilarious person i know. He is also the nicest, the most perfect... I seriously can't think of a single thing wrong with him. He has an auora about him that just draws people to him. Everyone likes him, EVERYONE. Parents, teachers, punks, preps, jocks, everyone.

Mindy- My best friend for two years. She was always there to help me through anything. We are going separate ways, but she is still in my heart.

Ian- My first 'love'. He's dating Mindy, they are going to get married sometime. They dont know this yet. He's hilarious and everything i want in a guy. I dont know why i threw him away.

Melissa- My best friend last year. We were freaking siamese, we did everything together and even shared a brain. She 'dumped' me. Ouch. Perhaps we just 'grew apart'. I still hate it, sometimes i tell myself i hate her. But i really dont.

Bethann- Beautiful, fun, outgoing (even though she thinks shes not) and so strong. She is strong willed and has a personality of an annoying kitten. Annoying in a good way, of course.

Becky- The funniest person in the world! (Alot of people are 'the funniest person in the world' to me...) She makes me laugh so hard i cry. One of my best friends, i only wish she would email me. She is hard to go 'deep' with, but once you do, you never regret it. She has so much advice and wisdom deep inside.

Mark- Little. A nerd. Funny. He's himself, he doesnt' care what other people think. That makes me love him.

Reed- A sick pig. He'll be a stud when he grows up! I love him also.

Sheila- She used to be one of my best friends (yeah, i have alot of those). She doesn't beleive in me, she doesn't beleive i can beat my eating disorder. If i could shove it down her throat i would.

Breanna- Sheila's best friends, one of my previous best friends also. I told her i hated her becuase she loved me, and we haven't talked since. She still has a piece of my heart, i wish she'd give it back.

Justin- He's 14. He has taught me so much about myself. He's one of the coolest people i know. No one likes him, they judge by appearance. I hate them all!!! No, i love them. I love him too, they're just seriously missing out by not getting to know this kid. He has been recently diagnosed with MS. But he remains strong.

Seth- HOT HOT HOT! Need i say that again? Thats' a standing joke between us, and i'm not sure why i put that in here becuase he's never going to read this thing. He told me i'm the most real person he has ever met. Thats gotta have some significance. I will never forget him. He's really conceited, so i'll never marry him. His loss! ;)

Jen- We have so much fun together!!! We hit each other, throw toilet water in each other's faces, watch each other get stuck in dryers, pee on floors and in closets (not our rooms, of course...), throw toilet paper out of windows on little innocent girls we dont know, DANCE!!!, fart, throw glass out of windows, um, sleep... Etc, etc... She laughs alot.

Leisel- We understand each other. She was my coffee buddy. I wish i knew her better. She comes across as a snob; no one digs deep enough to know whats really inside.

Becks- Skinny, wonderful, hilarious, and a ditz! It just makes me love her even more. I love personalities, i know i will never meet another person exactly like her.

Andy- Beck's boyfriend. I love him to death. He's not a jerk like most Canadian boys, we call each other 'fece face' all the time, and he has the appearence of innocence but is so far from it! I would marry him too, if Becks didn't already have him. ;)

Dres- My internet best friend. She makes me laugh every time i talk to her! Well, the times i'm not crying that is. I dont know why she's still alive. There must be a reason. Her strength amazes me every single day.

Stacy- We connect. I love her dearly. She offers me hope and words of encouragement. She knows about my SI, she does it too. She has so much strength---that i admire.

Chris- He knows how to ask the right questions. He loves me, i dont know why. We ponder the meaning of love together, then i cry while we're drinking coffee, and we pray while i cry some more. Come back to me, Chris.

Laurie- So sweet, so funny, so beautiful. I want her body. I look up to this girl for the light that shines through her.

Pamela- One of my best friends last year. She's so full of life, vibrant with hope. We have so much fun together!!!!!!! She always makes me laugh, and shes' so encouraging.

Tara- A beautiful woman, so alive and so full of life! I think those mean the same thing. Anyway, she loves everyone and is such an inspiration to me. She, along with every other person worthy of being on my 'cast' list, has a piece of my heart. Some get bigger chunks than others.

Chelsey- I helped her out of her eating disorder, now she's helping me fight mine. She is wonderful and has strength that is enlightening.

Jared- Drug addict. My best friend in rehab. He taught me about me and about the importance of loving myself. He's hilarious and can always make me laugh.

Christina- Fellow ED sufferer. We haven't talked lately. I helped her, now i wont let her help me. Poo.

Kristen- My best friend two years ago. She was the one that conviced me to go to rehab the first time. Why did i let her go? She needed me. Doesn't everyone? Maybe not.

Dondra- Strong and evasive. I wonder whats going on with her. We were close, now we've drifted. I miss her.

Geoff- A hilarious and open guy. We havne't talked for awhile either...i think i'll call him sometime, now that i remembered he exists. He should live with me. Maybe that woulnd't be good, i think he might want me. He tells me how beautiful i am and i run away!

KeriLyn- A beautiful girl. She means so much to me... She has a piece of my heart. We've had some incredible conversations, she's taught me so much that i'm sure she doens't realize.

Brooke- She's a ditz, but i love her for it. She craves attention and loves to be included. (She doesn't realize she's so easy to read.) She loves life.

Mason- Curly hair- I wanted him for awhile. A long while. He's a drunkard and he has sex too much. Darn him. He has such a good heart.

Nate- I want to marry him too! Along with his brother. That woudln't work out too well!!!! He's so funny and has a heart of gold.

Scott- My best friend two years ago. We still talk, but nothing's like it was. He makes me laugh so hard. I miss him.

Dingles- Spunky and short. Woo! She makes me laugh hysterically!!! She understands me.

Merk- The most blunt person i know. She's honest and loyal. She is so strong and so dedicated to getting the most out of life and with serving God with everything she is made of.

Micah- One of my current best friends. He's so random, just like me. We talk all the time, but it's never enough. I could talk to him forever.

Dave- I want to marry him too. He's from Wyoming, he loves me and i wish i knew why! I was in love with him at the end of last year, but i slowly got over it by 'neglecting' to call him for three months straight. I hate burdening him with my problems.

Courtney- We've never met, but i consider her one of my closest friends. We've connected souls by writing letters to each other for the past 12 years. Someday i'll hug her and we'll go out for coffee, talk, laugh, and stick out feet on the table.

Codee- She always smiles. ALWAYS. To some people, that might be a turn off. But it's just so contageous, i love being around her.