This will be short and sweet.

Well, maybe not sweet.

But it will definately be short. -Er than normal anyway.

I haven't been sleeping lately. Perhaps it's due to the diet pills i've been taking. They are fantastic things, i could lose up to 14 pounds in a week! 2 pounds a day. I'm going to make sure that i dont lose water weight... I'm so addicted to water it's humanly insane! I pee at least every hour. I dont know what i'm doing to my kidneys, hopefully they're just getting stronger instead of wearing out. I hate eating, i really do. Like my friend Emilie suggests, i would love to just take a pill every day with nutrients and all that other stuff necessary to survival.

I'm frustrated today...becuase that treatment place isn't calling me back. I want to go there as soon as i possibly can... I've been trying to call them for the past three days, but it's always busy. I want to pull out my pubic hair, flush it down the toilet, then scream into a two liter bottle until my frustrations disappear! I cant' stand living in this house for much longer. It has gotten better though... i'm finding an odd amount of humor in each of them. In the way my mother hasn't a clue how to play any game of any sort, and in the way that my father gets nervous when he's in public. Those things, which i prevously found annoying and embarassing, have become funny.

I guess this is longer than i want it to be.

I want to be free.

God is so big. My life is in His arms. I, myself, am in His arms. he's so big... How can i even think or beleive for a mere moment that he can't take care of me? That He can't carry me through anything?? He's just so BIG!!!! He created eveyrthing around me...He created ME... How can he NOT take care of every need i have?

I also decided what i want to do with my life.