I'm eating.... I love food so much...and i dont understand why. It doesn't satisfy my desires, i'm not thinking clearly.... I just wnat food food and more food...

I started eating a pancake, and all i want are more. I want to drink syrup by the bottle and drown my worthless soul with more fat than can be imagined. I deserve to be fat, i deserve to keep this food down and become fat. But will i beable to do that? I'm sure i'll just go purge. I dont CARE anymore if my parents know...i dont cARE if my friends know... I just want OUT OUT OUT...but HOW, where is the answer, how do i get out of this hell i've created for myself? I could drink water until i'm bloated beyond beleif, but eventually i'll just become a water-addict. Is there a life available for me...where i wont be addicted to anything...where i will truely and honestly be FREE?!

Is there??? Where is that place?

All i want to do is eat..